Notes ☽

Things I want to tell my daughter (or son)

  1. Be kind — to everyone, including those who don’t treat you as well. Even if it seems like they don’t deserve it, they probably need it the most.
  2. Do not spend more than €9,- on mascara.
  3. Never apologise for your body. Embrace it. Let it be adored by kind hands. Don’t refuse a photo becauce of how you look, because all you lose is the memory. There will be times when you don’t like your body. When it does things you don’t want it to do, but don’t stop loving it. Appreciate its magic. Go swimming. Hold your body with pride. Life it too short to live any other way.
  4. There’s nothing wrong with Netflix binges. But also, read the newspaper.
  5. Guilt is a worthless feeling. Learn from the past and then get the heck out of there.
  6. If he/she cheats on you say goodbye.
  7. Stop waiting for Friday, for summer, for someone to fall in love with you, for life. Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it and make the most of the moment you are in now.
  8. Live a life that feels good. Not one that looks good.
  9. You want to know what’s sexy? Confidence. AND HUMILITY.
  10. Love is not determined by gender.
  11. I hope to raise you to be strong so you can be gentle, educated so you can be humble, fierce so you can be compassionate, passionate so you can be rational, and so disciplined that you can be free. – Kavita Ramdas
  12. Always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, but don’t overuse the word ‘sorry’
  13. When you are unhappy with something, you have two options: move on, or find a way to change it. Don’t wallow.
  14. Call your grandparents just to say “hi.” It will mean the world to them.
  15. You were beautiful before he/she told you.
  16. Smile at other girls. People in general, but especially girls. A lot of people won’t smile at or compliment you because they think that doing so will diminish their value or power or something. That’s bogus. Smile.
  17. Your dad is the sweetest person.
  18. Be polite. Manners aren’t hard, and they’re really important. Be polite to friends, teachers, younger kids, waiters, flight attendants, people on the street — everyone.
  19. Your body is the only body you’re ever going to have, so learn to accept it and take care of it.
  20. Have lots of nights that end with sunrises in places you have never been before.
  21. We are all just humans, no better or worse than any other.
  22. Your ‘virginity’ is not a thing and it is certainly not something you ‘lose’.
  23. Everyone you meet knows something that you don’t. You have something to learn from literally every person you encounter.
  24. Violence against women is not a women’s problem, but a social problem.
  25. Fall in love. With books, movies, songs, art, boys, girls and whatever else strikes you. It’s so worth it.
  26. Don’t waste too much time worrying about being ‘popular’.
  27. In all likelihood, you won’t love every aspect of your body. But look at the way it can run and jump and sing and breathe — be grateful for that. Take care of your body.
  28. “Gay” does not mean stupid or lame.
  29. You can tell me anything. I promise not to be angry with you for telling me the truth.
  30. Treat people how you wish to be treated.
  31. If you want to wear a dress that others think you are too fat for … do it. If you feel like you look good, then you look good
  32. No one is your “other half.” You’re already whole. And my goodness, are you magnificent.
  33. Being judgmental isn’t beautiful.
  34. Don’t tell your mom you hate her; you will regret it.
  35. If it’s 1 a.m. and you’re stressing about school and feel like you may be on the verge of an emotional breakdown, then put down the schoolwork and go get yourself a bowl of ice cream and just breathe for a bit. Exams can be redone; your life cannot.
  36. Choose your friends wisely. And if they’re not bringing out the best in you, it’s OK to find new ones.
  37. It’s only a bad day, not a bad life.
  38. Don’t bully others just because the popular kids are doing it.
  39. You can like playing with toy cars and playing with glitter.
  40. Beauty is so much broader than the vision that’s put forth by the magazines — and a woman’s value is SO much broader than her beauty.
  41. A career isnt worth your happiness.
  42. Don’t take life too seriously. You can’t plan every detail. Sometimes you can just go with the flow.
  43. Wearing make-up is great but so is not wearing make-up.
  44. It’s really OK to admit that you don’t know what to say sometimes. Better to do that than to say the wrong thing. Also, don’t give lots of unsolicited advice (says the girl giving you lots of it…).
  45. Self-care is not selfish; it’s a necessity.
  46. Stop comparing yourself to others; that will never do any good.
  47. Learn to forgive. Also learn that not erveryone deserves your trust.
  48. You are never too good, too old or too smart to give or receive an apology. Don’t give unnecessary apologies, but step up to the plate and own your mistakes when you’ve made them.
  49. Don’t say “maybe” if you want to say “no.”
  50. Don’t chase people. You don’t need to run after people to prove to yourself or anyone else that you matter.
  51. Try not to care too much what other people think of you. What matters is what you think of yourself. (Unless your loved ones are telling you they really don’t like the way you’re acting; then, you should listen.)
  52. Not everyone is going to love you (sorry). That’s not necessarily your fault, and it’s OK. If they don’t love you, someone else will.
  53. Everything is going to be okay.
  54. About love: We could obviously talk about love and relationships for days, as real and raw connections is ultimately what we are all running after. But my girl, fall in love with him (or her) for how they ignite adventure within your soul, how you both challenge each other to grow, how deeply they care about you and what you have to say. How they make you rise and not shrink, how their existence make your life easier not harder, how being together expands the range of possibilities instead of limiting them. Good looks? A nice house/car? The glow of that shit fades. Find someone that makes you laugh, a lot, and treats you well, because you’re gonna be really fucking bored when you’re 80 years old with broken hips, and sex is impossible :). Love will come into your life under different forms; lovers, friendships, shooting stars, pets(!), and will fill your heart with tremendous emotions. Don’t be scared to let people know that you care, and how they make you feel. At last, remember that you’ll always better off alone or with your girl gang, than in company of someone that doesn’t admire the masterpiece that you are.
  55. You were born in a time to change the world for woman. To be a voice to be heard, to push up against oppression of every single shape and form.
  56. I love you. Tons, and I’m forever proud of all that you are,

xo Mom

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